Almost every week I get a phone call or a letter on the grounds that the author – always male – seeking advice on how to get back together with his ex-girlfriend who broke up with him. Now, I can redirect this constantly reoccurring question to this article.
The point of no return
She dumped you. Translation: her level of interest in you has decreased to a point of no return. Where everything you do to try and keep the relationship together will be wasted (don’t buy anything).
A woman does not necessarily break up immediately after she loses her interest. Breaking up is a difficult and delicate action, she may want to extend the deadline because she feels comfortable or because of her fear of being alone. The following expression sums up this type of situation: “dead man walking”. In the workplace, this term refers to an employee who is guaranteed to be fired in the near future, but isn’t aware of it.
Was this relationship worthwhile ?
Take a cold shower to refresh your mind, and ignore your feelings or emotions caused by the situation before answering the following questions:
- Was your ex-girlfriend always honest with you ?
- Did she invest herself in the relationship as much as you ?
- Did she always kept her promises ?
- Did she always act with integrity to you ?
- Were you on the same sexual wavelength ?
- Was she financially independent?
If the answer to these questions is “no” or “I do not know,” you can now relax, buy some booze and pizza, and call your friends to celebrate the fact that you are single again. Yes, I said celebrate. If the answer to each of these questions is “yes”, then this girl was wife-material, and you probably have messed up.
Get her back?
A woman is not a car that we can recover at the pound after forgetting to put money in the parking meter. If you legitimately want to get back with your ex-girlfriend, you should know that you will not succeed by being the same guy you are today. I will not lie to you, only by working on yourself will you have the chance to be with her again. It is easier to seduce a stranger than a woman who no longer has the same love and lust for you.
You are thinking this article seems a little dark? That it probably does not contain the answers you expected or hoped for? Unfortunately in most situations, this is – the reality.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.
― Philip K. Dick